I wrote a poem (it reads more like a song, though, since I started singing the first two lines as I reached for paper) yesterday in a frenzy of emotion(s), so some of it probably won't make since to most of you unless you know me well. Before I put it down for you all to enjoy (of course you can just skip the rambling and go straight to the "poem" if you want), you should know that lately I've been... extremely depressed. The fault is my own because I allowed myself to get too attached, but nevertheless, it isn't something I have control over. :\ I'm only putting this up here because a certain someone on DSOJ would most likely go emo (again) by reading it in my blog.

I haven't been able to organize my thoughts for months because of this, so this is the first poem I've written in almost six months. Lately I've lost interest in almost everything I used to enjoy, including drawing. Actually that's why I haven't put up anything for awhile. I know I have projects to do, but I haven't been in the mood to draw... at all. I did one panel for page four of the Evego comic and put it aside. >>

As for the "poem", I wrote whatever popped into my head. I was trying to get some of this out of me, so be gentle with me. You should know that even then, there are no words that can describe what I'm feeling, let alone tell you what's been going through my head.

"Confusion" by A.O. on 6/20/09

Sometimes I wonder
how I ever fell in love with you
Until I remember all of the moments
that made it true
They say loving you has become a sickness
If that's true then I don't want a cure
and I'll take this star as my witness
to our rise and fall

[Chorus] I lie awake, thinking of you
remembering the times we shared
I can't help but wander if you miss me, too
I'm not one for lying, so I can't
help but hope you do
In this bed I've had so many dreams
I have dreamt of a place for you and I; say you love me, too

All I want is to give my life
only to you
But most of the time I can't help thinking
that the flame we had can't be restarted; it can't be true
My heart won't believe it, my head says to leave it
It's been too long since I saw your pretty face...
You know I love you, you know I miss you
Is it too late to win this race?

[Chorus]

This distance maims my life, I just
want to hear you say the words
All my hope is fading to dust
I don't want this to be the final chapter
I tried living without you; every time I did I felt dead
If you could save me from this rapture
would you do it for love? Or would you do it
because it was the right thing to do?

A life without you is a life
I don't want to live
A world without you is a world
I don't want to know
I'm begging you, I'm crying out
All I want to do is talk to you
Please hear me out
I'm going crazy without you

[Chorus]

They swear this love will be the death of me
I won't move from the ground where you left me
My answer is always, "so it be."
I know I must be an idiot for not seeing
the miracle at my doorstep,
but what can I say?
Love is blind...
Only my love will go on unfilled
You've moved on and I keep living in the past
I can't help but hope and dream

[Chorus]

[Chorus]

They say loving you has become a sickness
If that's true then I don't want a cure
and I'll take this star as my witness
to our rise and fall...